How Should A Wife Respond When Her Separated Husband Wants To Return Back Home?

I sometimes hear from wives who aren’t sure what to do when their separated husband announces that he is now ready to come home. Some wives are overjoyed at this news and some are not sure how they feel. Many have feelings that change from one day to the next. On the one hand, they do want their husband to come home and work on or save their marriage. But on the other, they worry if anything has really changed so that saving the marriage is actually going to be possible.

I heard from a wife on my blog who said: “when my husband approached me about a separation, I fought him hard on it. I wanted to go to counseling and save our marriage and I didn’t understand why he had to move out for all of these things to happen. But he moved out anyway. And this was devastating for me. But I have coped and I’m doing OK. We never did counseling and not a lot has changed. But when we saw each other during the separation, it was clear that we missed each other and that there was still some love there. Then last week, out of the blue, he called me and told me that he was ready to come home. I asked why he made this decision and his answer was ‘it’s time.’ I’m very conflicted about this. On the one hand, I want my husband home. But on the other hand, we haven’t changed or addressed anything. Nothing has changed. And I worry that he is only coming home because he’s lonely or bored. Plus I’m a little resentful that I begged him not to go in the first place and here he is getting to make all the decisions and dictate how things are going to go once again. I feel as if I am at the mercy of his decisions. He wanted to move out and I had no choice to go along. And now he wants to move back and I’m just supposed to roll it. What now? I am just unsure as to what happens when he comes home and how I’m supposed to react.”

I understood how the wife felt. She wondered if she was just getting pulled around by the whims of her husband. And she wondered if their marriage even stood a chance when nothing had really changed. She didn’t know what type of outcome to expect. She wanted to have a good attitude, but she didn’t want to get her hopes up only to have them slashed when her husband’s next move was a divorce because he could then say that he came home and tried to make it work but was unsuccessful. The thing is, the wife had no way to know what was actually going to happen. She was assuming that she was going to have a difficult road or a bad