Should A Wife Want Her Husband To Feel Miserable After He Cheated?

I often hear from wives who are absolutely furious after their husband’s affair. They are extremely resentful of the pain, betrayal, and humiliation that he has put them through and they want revenge. Many will come right out and admit that they want to make their husband miserable after he cheated or had an affair. And others are more passive aggressive about this. They might say that they want to save their marriage and move on, but they never pass up the opportunity to make their husband experience shame, humiliation, or misery for what he did.

And, as a wife who has been cheated on, I completely understand this. You can feel as if he has hurt you, so now it is pay back time and you are free to hurt him. I heard from a wife who said “I feel so petty to say this, but sometimes I feel like my sole purpose in life and my greatest goal is to make my husband miserable after his affair. And on the rare occasions that I feel guilty about this, I just remember back to what that jerk did to me. While I was home with his children, he was cheating and lying and having an affair with that woman from his work. For months, I could tell something was wrong in our marriage and he tried to make me think that I was imaging things and even went so far as to tell me that was crazy. He made me out to be this paranoid, awful person who was making unfounded accusations. But guess what? I was absolutely right. He was cheating. I did have a reason to be worried. And so now, he will pay for his lies. I want him to be miserable every day so that he can remember the mistake that he made by doing what he did to me. But my mother says this isn’t healthy. I say that the revenge of making him miserable actually makes me feel better and that’s what counts. He says he doesn’t want a divorce and I’m not giving him one because that would be letting him off easy. Because I want him to spend every day of his miserable life with me and remember what he did.”

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It’s totally understandable that you might want your husband to feel your pain, especially if he lied to you all along when you confronted him about this very topic. Not only did he deceive you, but he tried to make you think that you were unstable, overreaching, and crazy when you were only stated what you already knew.

His actions were absolutely deplorable. You deserve to be angry. And it is